Parenthood

Although The Wide, Wide World was written for adults, let’s hope that parents of the nineteenth century were not getting parenting tips from the Montgomery’s. It’s hard for me to give either one of the adult Montgomery’s credit for their parenting skills. While it’s understandable that Mrs. Montgomery is sick and quite care for her child in the physical sense, she doesn’t seem to care for her emotional needs either. When told that she will be separated from her mother indefinitely, Ellen begins to break down. Although her mother lets her cry for a small amount of time, she tells Ellen that, “’I cannot bear this much longer’” (Warner 6). The fact that “Ellen was immediately brought to herself by these words” leads the audience to believe that not only is the word of the parent final and children must bend to them, but that emotional displays weren’t customary and in fact, were considered quite lowly. Captain Montgomery is also quick to sidestep any emotion when he forbids his wife to tell his daughter about how soon she is leaving. He feels that, “’In the hurry and bustle of getting off, she will not have time to think about her feelings; and once on the way, she will do well enough; children always do’” (52). You would think that since he doesn’t take care of Ellen emotionally that he would physically and even that is somewhat of a question for he leaves his daughter with his sister without a second glance. Therefore, young Ellen becomes her own parent in a sense. By taking care of her mother, the parent-daughter relationship has flipped and it’s Ellen who’s making the tea and reading from the bible for her mother. It’s Ellen who is sewing her own clothing and Ellen who is writing the thank you notes. It seems the only roles that the actual parents fill are those of providing shelter, food and love.

In The Wide, Wide World, the mother’s role is to stay in the home and raise the children. As Ellen looks out her window and sees the poor deformed, orphan boy, she says, “’He’s a great deal worse off than I am. His mother is dead’” (9). This shows the audience that his position is so lowly not because of his disability, but because of the fact that his mother is dead. Notice that Ellen thinks nothing about the young boy’s father, for surely he can’t be an orphan if he still has a father. Perhaps this is because Ellen so rarely sees her father, or maybe it’s because Fathers were not very involved in child rearing. Captain Montgomery, who always seems to be at work, has only one role in Ellen’s life, to provide money. The fact that he’s gone for work so often leads the audience to believe that most of the parenting roles fall upon the mother while all of the financial support comes from the father. Even this is something Captain Montgomery can’t seem to get down for he gives Mrs. Montgomery “a sum barely sufficient for [Ellen’s] mere clothing” (21).

Since I mentioned earlier that I believe Ellen to be her own parent, I think she looks to her mother for spiritual advice. When she asks her mother “what does that mean, ‘He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worth of me?’” (31) Ellen is looking to her mother be a good Christian. When her mother tells her that she loves God more than her daughter and then proceeds to tell her daughter not to cry, it seems to me that Mrs. Montgomery is simply there to teach Ellen about Christianity. Ellen perception of her father is simply that of the man who is going to take her away from her beloved mother. When she hears his steps outside of her room, all she can think of is “He is coming to take me away!” (56). When he takes Ellen and puts her in the carriage “she did not feel the touch of her father’s hand, nor hear him when he bid her good-bye […] She knew nothing but that she had lost her mother” (57). This passage shows that it bothered her next to nothing to lose her father, but that the loss of her mother was too devastating to even notice the fact that her father was taking her away.